Why so inquisitive bro?

So this past Friday I worked at our other Restaurant location as a server. We needed some backup, and It was a chance for your boy to make some tips; I’m so there. During the flow of the night, one of our regulars walks in the door. Since I have been working at our other location in Rancho Mirage, I have not Seen them in a while. We go through pleasantries, catch up on life and I take their order. Now, as the food is being placed on the table, one of the regulars ask me “who do I hang out or connect  with out here?” ” Between two restaurants, I don’t have much time to connect with many people outside of work.” Now Given that I just broke up with my girlfriend, stating this at this particular moment is both a response to the customer and a moment of self-realization.  This guy then follows up this statement by saying “how long are you going to keep this up?” then “are you lonely?” The environment where I was being questioned and the line of questioning itself really caught me off guard . It really put me on the spot and made me think.  I’ve made decisions in my life that have separated me from others and in some ways myself. In the pursuit of success , I find myself in this social purgatory; not totally immersed in others and in social life but not a complete hermit. I’m here because I’m not really happy right now where I am in life. It’s hard for me to really immerse myself in others when so much of me is in me getting out my dreams. At time I feel pregnant with Visions and Ideas. Hanging out and socializing just seems as an irritation. Then there are times  I just want to get out and be. Just explore  . I’m not Satisfied with my life. Hell, I’m looking at my last few post and they all revolve around the pursuit. I don’t really know if I can change my focus from that. I’m not really alone, I’m just  focused. The question that was asked to me I never really answered. So How long will I push this way? for as long at it takes to make dreams reality. Am I lonely? not really, Just focused.

 

Peace,

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1 year back

This time last year I was arriving back from the East Coast after two and a half years. This last 365 days have been hard man. I’ve laughed , I’ve cried I’ve grown , I’ve started relationships , I’ve ended relationships. To be totally honest, this may be the most stressful 365 days in my life. Through it all, it has been so rewarding. Going into this second quarter of the year, My life is changing again in a way that I believe will truly change my  trajectory forever. I’ve decided that at 27 , it is time to go on my own and make things happen. I need to truly envision what my future is and take it. No more talking about what I could do if…………… Im just going to do it. Life life to the fullest. If I fail miserably, Then it is all on me. If im a wild success , then it will be at the hand of hard work and effort.

see you later.

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Grub

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Found some inspiration online.
I call it “Breakfast Toast”
Toast with melted provolone cheese & Garlic butter
Salt
Pepper
Olive oil
Fresh heirloom tomato
Bacon
Sautéed onions and portobello mushroom
All is this is wrapped in prosciutto
And topped with a poached egg.

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27 Years a Male

Hey do you like that clever title? get it? 12 years a slave , 27 years a male? funny? I know its stupid , but I couldn’t help myself. Its times like these where I really have to  infuse some act/statement of petulance or naivety into my world.  A remnant of youth.  On March 10 1987, The good Lord graced this earth with my presence. I’m now 27 years old , which is by no means old  but at my age, my Dad was having his second son. Right now I live with my parents. Quite the contrast

I spent my birthday with my girlfriend and then headed over to Umami Burger that night to Satiate my manly desire for a burger. I went by myself. and to be totally honest, it was nice. Well the burger was cool, but being alone for this period was refreshing . Living at home and working with family leaves little room to be alone. This hour of solitude was spent thinking about life. family . love . Self . future. Everything.

In my mind, I have this Grandiose perception or vision of my life when im “older”. As I creep closer to 30, It has been a little apprehensive as to the trajectory of my life. There is so much that I feel that im capable of doing and that I desire to do. Turning 27 Has me a little anxious. I guess I just felt I would be farther along at 27. Don’t get me wrong, my life has direction and I believe I have found my passion, its just that when you come home and you’re sharing a room with your younger brother , the vision in your head begins to battle with the current reality; There’s a mental battle between what should be, and what is. My greatest fear is that I continue to dream of this “future” , and I spend my present unsatisfied, upset at the pursuit of my “real life” , where I really belong. What I have decided is to embrace the moment I am now. Yes there are goals that I have , and there is a vision I have for my life but the future is an eternal knit of present moments that create new moments in my future. if you are not present in this very moment, right now as I write, then you risk your future , you risk your vision, for its only a momentary culmination of all these present moments. 27 years I’ve been a male. Right now this very moment im 27 years old  and8 days . I will enjoy this moment . engage in this moment. love this moment, and from this moment , work on my future. Happy birthday month to me.

 

Peace

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Runyon canyon

The lady took me on a hike last week at Runyon canyon. Needless to say , I need to get back in the gym.

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Los Angeles love

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Was walking to the comedy club to see my girl perform. Saw this beauty on the wall. Purple and gold until i die.

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Comida

In Los Angeles so thought I would let yelp lead the way. These tacos are serious!!!

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