I want to be a baller?

Happy belated New Years, Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah whatever you just went through this past year!!!!! Looking back on this past year, all I think about is how a fast 2011 went by. To be extremely concise, the first part sucked and the latter part got  a lot better: Made some close bonds, broke some close bonds, got some facial hair ( this is a huge deal!!!! i’ve only been able to grow a goatee) Got a new job, moved to Long Island, Visited Cali , Visited Boston, Went to NC got involved in Children’s ministry at church and I think I can say I grew up a little bit.

So obviously some stuff went down last year. September 2011 marked my 1 year anniversary in New York. Its so crazy to think where I was mentally when I first arrived. September 201o, The lord Jesus Christ himself coming back to claim his people was just about the only event that was going to stand in my way of living the Wall Street Dream.  In my mind, it was only a matter of time before I was pulling overnighters in some bulge bracket firm in my designer suit after eating Mcdonalds and building financial models through the early morning.  The more time went on, I to really analyze the impetus in which was putting me into motion. Was my “passion” to work in the financial realm borne out of a genuine interest, or was I chasing a perception as to what I needed to do to look successful, to justify my move to the East Coast? Well my answer came to me in the form of a registration payment. At the end of December, I was about to shell out 1200 bucks to pay for my CFA registration and study materials. As that week approached, I just asked myself, “why am I doing this”? that simple inquiry, spurred a long conversation with my Dad and a reanalysis of everything I was pursuing. After some prayer,  I turned down the CFA and totally shifted my focus. If  there is one thing that 2011 brought, it was clarity.

New York is a funny place in that all of the energy and opportunity here can really confuse you. You can come here in hopes of being a lawyer and next thing find yourself with an overgrown beard working the graveyard shift at Macys while writing movie scripts during the day. You feel as if you can do anything when you are here; the problem is, we are each made to affect the world in a unique. Your footprint shouldn’t be a weak nebulous impression on society, rather something solid that will be remembered.  with that being said, I think my pursuit of the finance job I believe was influence by me wanting to be recognized rather than remembered. I would conjecture that the difference between being recognized and being remembered is all  in the timing. being recognized can be temporal while being remembered deals with a more lasting impact. What I do in 2012, I want to be remembered. whether it be remembered by the kids I Coach, the people I work with at work, this year I want to walk in purpose. everything I do I want to matter. No wasted movement. So to provide a feeble answer to my blog title…… I dont want to be a baller. But I do want to play ball with my kid one day. I do want to work with my family. I do want to be a better friend. So although in 2011 I let go of a desire that I thought I wanted, I grasp onto something that I feel im going to be able to run with. 2012……..lets get it.




About Literarydimes

This blog is a reflection of me. My random thoughts and current happenings. Enjoy. Engage. React.
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