Ambivalence

HEEEEELLLLLLOOOOO everybody!!!!

I think its been like two months since I have written anything. Dont know why but I haven’t been reading or anything. just veggin out. It happens every once in a while. Today I was sitting in lounging around the house playing video games, after two hours the repetition was starting to melt my brain. Off to Starbucks.

These last two months have been pretty interesting. I have grown a lot of in my position at work. One thing I have noticed is that I have changed. Between the incessant frustration borne out of a lack of order at work, I have became somewhat calloused to the desire for acceptance. I just don’t care anymore. its so much easier to perform when you dont care what people think . What people respect in the end is not all the jokes and friendship , but order. When there is a system in place, when there is continuity , people will follow and they will respect you. They all may not like me but they will respect the job; I guess im kind of an asshole at work, but it works, and I kind of like it.

one thing that that I think i’ve discovered is that fear to some extent is a misconstrued desire for acceptance. At one point, you are focusing so much on what others are thinking/ perceiving you actions, that you decide to neutralize these thoughts by doing nothing. One thing that New York has helped me to do is not care.

oh yeah….. Thanksgiving was dope!!!! I took my little cousins to the Macy thanksgiving parade. After that we just ate way too much and talked a lot and fell into an Itis-induced slumber. Awesome. Well thats it for now. Its my first time using my brain outside of work for a few weeks so give me a break.

Peace.

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About Literarydimes

This blog is a reflection of me. My random thoughts and current happenings. Enjoy. Engage. React.
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