I remember one afternoon during my junior year in college, I went out to an open field on campus that was used for recreation. There were some guys playing soccer using lacrosse goals for soccer goals. I went out and joined the games. Now before I go any further, Let me make it clear that I don’t play soccer. I mean, I can dribble a soccer ball a little bit, but by no means , by any stretch of the imagination, not a modicum in me would possess me to say ” i play soccer”. Now that the image is set, I go out there and they pass me the ball. The defender comes out to press me, and as if I was 7 again playing AYSO, I swiftly pull the ball back and throw it behind my opposite leg. Now, from the OPPOSITE side of the field, next to my goal, I shoot a lob shot over all everyone; the ball is soaring the air , and its on target for the goal, the ball drops right over the head of the defender. Perfect shot. Everyone screams and I throw up the hands like I meant to do that. Of course any time I touched the ball during the duration of that game, none of the touches were nearly as beautiful as that one play.
In life, we all have these instances where we do things with no real intent , something absolutely crazy happens and you’re left wondering, “how the heck did I do that?” of course when try to duplicate this instant, the result is diametrically opposed. Its funny, that at times when you approach situations with such deliberate intention, you over think it and you fail. I call this the “Single guy syndrome”.
The Single guy theorem states that when have nothing to lose ( for this example have a girl) you will approach any situation with women with a sub conscience levity or ambivalence, which will make you more attractive or successful. In short, the single guys actions and statements are influenced my risk of losing , so any statement made seems to be contrived or calculated. Having a sure thing gives you a confidence which really causes you to not to care about the result at all. That lack of responsibility makes any interaction simple .
That shot that I made went in because I didnt care that it did, there was no risk of failure. If it did not go in, so what ,keep it moving and have fun. This dumb theorem is really just stating that acknowledging and obsessing about risk, will change your outcome adversely. when you release you grip on the result and the process and the possibility of failure and just focus on Nothing…. but the action itself , you open yourself up to the possibility of success. So this random rant came as I was sitting in my room. why I wrote it, no one knows, but I hope it makes sense.