When the woman in your life asks you, “What are we doing today?,” she is actually asking two questions. The first one is a literal translation of the statement., The second one is not as auspicious, but just as important, “What have you taken the time to plan?”
If I were to characterize myself in one word, it would be a planner. I have always been someone to write down an odd task to complete or goal to reach. If I’m planning to go somewhere, I’ll look at Google maps, assess the projected time of arrival based on current traffic, and work backwards so that I leave at the specified time. I like order, however, I very quickly realized that in a relationship, planning gets taken to a whole new level.
My need to plan things for myself is merely for convenience. It clears my mind and my thought process. Planning for a significant other goes beyond simplifying a date night but rather as a point of showing you care.
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year, and one of the most prominent lessons I’ve learned is that women need to see you plan things out, and they don’t want to have to ask you to plan things out. An articulated vision shows intent, thought, and care. If you are planning to go to the movies and you’re deciding on the film, food, and time, the questions “When did you want to go to the movies?” and “What do you feel like eating?,” will be perceived far differently than, “Hey babe, there are two showings of (Movie X) you have been talking about at (Theater X). This is closer to your job, and we could eat at (Restaurant X) before or after depending on your morning schedule. What do you think?” The latter articulates a clear picture of the night and shows that you are very intent on making this night happen. The details imply certainty. The fact that you’re mentioning a particular food she likes implies that there was a line of thought that went into the decision. And gentlemen, thought is always perceived as care. In the long term, a caring gentleman will beat out a trendy heartthrob. If not, just plan a way to get him out of the picture.