In just under a month, I will be 30 years old. It’s a very interesting time for me as in all the most pertinent areas in my life right I’m finding myself in transition : At church , I’ve been getting more involved with serving and have been feeling a pull on my heart for ministry . I don’t where exactly , but speaking to men at church has been on my mind. To be honest this is really the first time I can honestly say I’m open to the idea. Growing up with parents in ministry, I had a very unique perspective to the intricacies of the calling; It was very much a turn off at an early age by the transparency and constant pull on your time. The weight of others seem to be too much for me. However, as I get older, my desire to grow deeper with Christ has deepened . As I harken after Him, my ideas or oppositions to different ways of being use are weakened.
I have been Single for almost a year now ; it has been a revelatory time of growth , self-reflection and change. When I look back at who I was when it ended and who I am in the process of becoming , it really seems unbelievable. There was a great insecurity and self-doubt that I carried into my last relationship that wasn’t evident to me until I had a chance to step back and analyze moments of depression or loneliness. There were holes in my walk with Christ. The focus I put in my career and in my relationship really left “I” in a very precarious unstable position. Instead of being myself in the most complete way, part of me was always trying to impress or to compartmentalize feelings , certain circles of friends, certain desires in order to optimize a moment. The relationship became a place I turned to for reprieve and affirmation instead of communication and symbiotic growth. This point as I write it seems revelatory because this pretty much described my relationship with Christ, very much transactional as opposed to an ongoing narrative comprised of questions , answers , trust and growth.
I feel like I am catching my stride in regards to my career . I have a clear vision of where I want to be in the next 1,3,5 years and a somewhat clear understanding of the steps to get there. I am a restauranteur; simply defined, this a someone who owns and operates multiple restaurant concepts and locations . It’s strange declaring that with no current restaurant open but you have to declare and plan for what you want . My father is a man of action and I am very much a man of analysis. Constant conversations and sheer osmosis, has a begun a transformation in me in regards to how I go about action; My approach between analyzing an situation and moving forward without complete certainty is start to balance out. I truly am my fathers son.
There is a palpable energy and excitement around this 3oth year. I’m Praying that the Lord will use do a work. It is a truly exciting moment.