As I get older, I’m starting to realize the importance of patience and its effect on my life. I would consider myself a man with goals an ambitions; With so many ideas and hopes swirling around in my head, it’s hard for me at times to stay in my lane and as Joel Embiid would say, “Trust the process”. The advent of social media and other impetuous mediums of self-aggrandizement created this massive platform to live in your “perceived moment of importance” as opposed to the present moment that might not exactly reflect what the gram is projecting to the populace. These highlights are exactly that, a high point . There is no mention of any travails that the day week or year might have brought. Honesty, I can honestly spend less 10 minutes on Instagram and end that time, log off Jealous , stressed and determined to transform my now into one with goals and ambitions fulfilled. My impatience is fueled by what the moment is telling me now as opposed to what past experiences tell me as truth.
It’s crazy when you look into Israel’s response to the delayed return of Moses . The bible states the people grew restless in waiting for Moses on Mt. Sinai. They stated, “Make us gods to go before us: as for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.” This makes no sense. The People of Israel even state who Moses was and how he was used by God. They acknowledge the miraculous deliverance from Egypt, yet somehow, this truth ,this proof of concept was not enough to sustain them as they waited. Sometimes I read this and think “ God I know you’re real, I know you are alpha and omega, but can you just like open traffic on the 405 N JUST ONCE , like the Red Sea.”
“Don’t make it empty for me when I’m taking it to North Hollywood but literally part the cars as I drive northbound.” You’d think that seeing this would be enough but I don’t think it would be. I mean for a few months, maybe even a few years, it would be more than enough to sustain me, but time is funny; it does something to you. Distance from a situation will steal the allure of its past moment. What once stood as an amazing feat of power is relegated to normalcy. As evidenced in this part of scripture, time will change your perspective.
Perspective in the webster’s dictionary is defined as “A particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; Point of view.” Our perspective on waiting can dictate our patience or lack thereof. The people of Israel wanted a “god.” The way god is denoted in this sentence (uncapitalized), could infer that any representation would suffice, that any tangible, physically present form of any god would satiate their need for presence, their second “Red sea parting.” For me, there are times that I experience bouts of restlessness where I am not able to focus and all of my thoughts of ambitions dreams and relationships run wild in my mind. In these moments I can acknowledge the my past accomplishments , my “Red Sea parting”, yet it doesn’t matter. the stillness of the moment demands an immediate manifestation of some desire now. I want comfort now. That’s why it’s so gratifying for me to talk about what i’m working on. The instant gratification and accolades I get for presenting a “good idea” in that particular moment are more gratifying than sitting my room and working on the Idea. In the impatience of waiting for the right relationship and covenant, it’s more gratifying for me to find a random hookup to meet my temporal sexual needs. These actions are based on a wrong perspective on what a time of waiting is.
When I was younger, my dad would define waiting as a time of service. Service is an outward action; It was one of giving. Seeing a time of waiting as a time of service, will kill a wayward mind. Right now as I work on building a business, it is those times in the process when I just want the end result, that I focus my mind on generosity on others. I don’t really know how to define others but it works. As I get older, I realize that I can never lose perspective of what waiting looks like and of the magnitude of what God has done, is doing and is capable of. Vision must be aggressive. It must push beyond doubts and temporal pleasures that can act as blockades to where you are going. Perspective gives direction to where vision leads you. It’s grounds you. Stay ground. It’s all I’m trying to do these days.