Once again 

I remember catching the LIRR Years back as I headed into New York  city to look for work or heading to my new job. Although now I sit in these seats as just a visitor to New York, the memories from my time in this beautiful city rush back so vividly it’s almost as if I’m sitting next to by 24 year old self.

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For the Mayweather vs Conner MacGregor fight, I went to vegas with my bros and my best friend from childhood. We watched fight at the MGM Grand  amongst other fans of pugilism and those who just wanted to be part of the fanfare. The audience was comprised of a couple of hundred people and if I were to guess , the theater was probably %75 Irish and 85 percent pro-MacGregor over all.  So when the young lady came out to the ring to sing the Irish national anthem, the theater was truly a sight to see. There were Irish flags everywhere waving violently throughout. The words of the Irish faithful rang as though this was  a salute to the country and existence itself . You could feel the pride that emanated from these people . The next Anthem to be sung was the American National anthem when at this very moment in time in our history just felt strange. The irony in this situation was teeming. Here I was waiting my turn to turn to express my sentiments of  Rabid nationalism for a country that is currently expressing  it’s disdain for people of color in a way we haven’t seen since Jim Crow. The fighter representing the “Americans” was not even deemed as much as 3/5 of a person at on point of time in our history and even now may not be deemed a true symbol of the American man.

It’s very interesting time to be black in America. Anyone who is Black is very much cognizant of the racist undertones that are inextricably woven into the fabric American history. This country was literally built on the false of ideology of racial superiority.   And right now it feels as if there is a revival to teach this hatred to a new generation. The indictment against the case for our existence as equals is being made more and more overtly and amongst populist society.

The picture above made me sad and hopeful. As some sects of white society push indoctrinate young white America, It seems that the onus always falls on us to prove our equality. To prove that we have restraint and decorum.  If you are consistently teaching a false ideology that crawls into the fiber of everyday life and adversely affects the very institutions that shape a persons lively hood, then you will always have the “superior” hear the case and plea of the other as to why they deserve respect . This is not a viable path to equality as the positions of opportunity and privilege are denied to a people which makes them look as if they are lesser when in reality they are just denied. What this picture also says to me is that there is hope.

As more people of  use their opportunity to influence positions of power and position in society, we too have a place in changing perception position and ultimately our lives as a citizens of America. This picture represents the true relationship of racist ideology and black America. We are bigger than this.

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Soul Food

Every time the squad comes together we eat. It’s what my family does. digest a good meal as conversation marinates. words left at the table , finished on the porch. I’m never allowed to cook when we convene. If given duties , I’m usually relegated to the most rudimentary of dishes.

cole slaw


actually just set the table

It is where we will congregate after the food is blessed.

And the line of hungry people finish creating their plate of food.

an artistic pile of grub compiled almost as if  a game of tetris was in being played.

I will make my plate last

There in my chest lies a fullness .

not from my mom’s salmon but rather from her laugh.

Dad’s snoring on grandma’s recliner. Tie flipped over the left shoulder. residue from a clever move to avert an unfortunate convening of precious silk fabric and briset gravy at the dinner table.

Laughs are shared and pie is cut. The Lakers are cruising through the playoffs.

When my Aunty Mattie points at the screen , Shaq can’t miss a free throw.

Such fortune is what keeps us together.

though at times we may be worlds apart.

Right now they are content.

I will eat later.

I’m full .

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Kerry James Marshall 

Kerry James Marshall’s work was the MOCA for the last time today . I had to go see it. This was one of my favorites.

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My cousin was in town so you know we had to link up. I love family .There’s something about these relationships forged by blood and marriage that I find comforting; maybe it’s the simplicity and complexity that are brought together in communion. Because you are my blood, my only choice is to love you. I cannot hate my own flesh. The complexity is found in humanity. We all have our issues ,mannerisms and nuances. This paradox what makes life fun . How do I move forward in a singular command which involves such complex arithmetic ? The answer after 30 years is one I don’t know but I just ponder on, as I move forward . 

Peace ,

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It’s funny when I talk to people and when they ask me where I’m heading , in reference to my parents house , I always respond I’m going home. Rarely do I say I’m headed to my “parents house” My current residence is in Los Angeles but meals like this make me feel like home. I’m not to bad in the kitchen myself but nothing touches my mom’s home cooking .

Seeing my pops today for Father’s Day also reminded me of why wherever he is at will always be considered home; it’s the safety and the comfort . Sitting on the couch talking with my dad reminds me of a familiarity that no amount of furniture and pictures can ever replicate . Our relationship is built of 30 years   Of Spoken and unspoken communication. Hugs and kisses, fights and arguments. Words of wisdom and counsel that I will never forget . This spread of food will forever remind me of home, because my dad likes it . Not necessarily the food itself , but the fact that he played a part in the provision . That’s always how he has been. He’ll pray, eat a little and just watch the table . It’s those eyes watching over me that bring a comfort . It’s that voice on that phone that fortifies my backbone when trials seem to be too much. It’s what I aspire to be one day. The man at the head of the table just watching . Enjoying the food that God has provided, but enjoying just a little more the satisfaction that I was privileged enough to Enjoy it with my family .  Eat up pops; we’re okay . We’re home .   
Happy Father’s Day Dad . I love you the only a first born son can love his dad after 30 years . Unconditionally and with pride .

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Two years 

year two with dreads .

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