Christmas in LA

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The family was 45 deep in vegas this year for thanksgiving. What an awesome week.

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Fear to Faith

Last Sunday  at church as I headed upstairs to the media booth , I looked over and saw what seemed to be a homeless guy sleeping on the couch in the upper foyer. For a minute , a minute I am very ashamed of , a thought crossed my head ; “Why is this guy being allowed to sleep here at church ?” I quickly  had to rebuke this thought . Where else should a homeless man be than in the house of God? This whole situation made me question myself .What is the initial impression or thought that crosses my mind when it comes to the placement and position of the broken within the church? It seems today , the agenda is to take in the disenfranchised and broken, as long as they feign the appearance of being put together .  The irony in this situation is so sad . We have created a culture where we discourage  you to come to a hospital broken but rather hide your wounds or the perception of pain . You can  be addicted to porn , but don’t talk about it , because it’s not gauche. You can be struggling with self esteem or your identity , but let’s not be to loud about that . Matter of fact , it’s perceived as not cool to be really loud during worship so make sure you raise your hands and voice only so high . You can talk about Jesus all day at work but don’t bring anyone to church because it will mess up our church flow . I’m not saying these things from a place of judgment of church; I’m not absolved from any of these transgressions. My preaching if anything comes from a place of inward conviction rather than outward condemnation .


In Mark chapter 2 , Jesus has arrived at Capernaum and was in a house, Presumably the house of Peter,  speaking . There was a man sick of the palsy that wanted to see Jesus . Being that the house was full , he had his boys take him to the roof , break a hole in it , and lower him in . At the sight of this man, seeing faith expressed , Jesus states ,”Rise  your sins are forgiven .” Now I don’t if  the transgressions that Jesus spoke of; perhaps Jesus is labeling the sickness itself as sin, but I know that this man’s actions of coming now , coming naked and unashamed brought about healing. The impetus behind such bold  action is faith that stretches beyond. Beyond the cares of others, transcends the need to impress, to be in control; The faith that this man and his boys exhibited is one totally focused on the majesty and power of Christ rather than a fear of perception . The belief in the Father was so strong that the need to be in His presence superseded any fear of how he was perceived by others.

The Amplified Bible defines faith as ” The assurance of the things we hope for, being the proof of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality.” The actions described in Hebrews are all driven by a conviction.  This was man was so convinced by the providence of the Father, that there was going to be no thought of shame , judgement , conventional processes/ protocol that would withhold from him the healing found in His presence. If we truly are assured in our Father, in his mandate, just imagine the walls that would be broken in church. Our first inclination would not be to judge how people come, how they look , how they worship but rather total focus on being Christ-like and bringing them in however they come. The fear of bringing certain people, or laying ourselves prostrate at His feet in worship would be removed . When you look at the Church from the perspective as a hospital, we are all broken. Our brokenness  takes different forms but nevertheless  we all fall short of His glory.  Our perception of the broken or our boldness to chase after Him lies in our Faith. If we submerse ourselves in a trust in Jesus Christ, fear becomes removed and replaced with an assurance of salvation . Judgement is replaced with compassion and empathy. Faith removes us from staying in an inward-looking place of apprehension and judgement , to an outward-looking looking place of compassion.


My initial reaction to this man sleeping was one borne out of fear not faith. I saw a man who was “ruining” protocol. How this situation would be perceived was more important to me than giving a tired man a place to rest his head. Faith is grounded in a blessed assurance that Jesus is mine. It truly is the conviction of a reality that is not present now, but is sure to come. We judge out of fear. We condemn out of fear , we move hastily from situation to situation out of fear. Faith will have us broken , transparent , operating in love , fearless. For it finds its foundation not in the whims of this broken world , but rather in the warm embrace of a promise from a loving Father. I would encourage all of you to be people of faith. To show thanks to a Merciful father by walking in faith. Exhibiting our belief in the yet-to-be present return by letting His majesty and grace influence our perception and actions on this earth. It doesn’t matter what people think about you and how your perceived as long as your actions are pleasing to the father and are chasing after him.



Happy thanksgiving Fam


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Morning time 

Eggslut for breakfast . 

I’ve been meaning to get by butt to grand central market . 

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Lombard street

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San Francisco 

Just for the weekend. This city is dope. I have to come up here more often .

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Guilt is a cruel and subtle captive. It’s hands will gently hold you in a place of fear and self-loathing . Out of this is borne a paralysis so strong, it’s hard to imagine a life divorced of such sentiments.

When I was separated from her. The guilt that I felt was overwhelming . A smile was lost . A period of time abruptly laid to rest . Conversations and moments shared no longer part of an ongoing Narrative, but rather remnants and evidence of what once was .  The memories I held of us were a eulogy.  Stitched together to create a quilt of a lifetime that is no more. As time passes, they lose their warmth. This tapestry slowly loses its familiarity .

The sins of man have a cruel way of enslaving you. Portrayed as vices of pleasure and refuge , they allow you to dig your own grave. Validating you just enough for you to continue your blind pursuit of happiness . And when you are tired and broken, they employ the services of guilt to deter you from looking for a way out. So I sat there , alone , hungry for more than the crumbs that were presented in the base follies of sin yet blinded and scared to ask where they are.

In a time of confusion , Your Word brought clarity. An answer to unknown prayers. The shackles of guilt broken by the Love that you showed and a renewed hope in the message that tells me to seek you first . With you preeminent , there is hope for redemption; A new identity founded in you.

A Good Son

A good servant

A Good Husband

A Displined Businessman

A Disciple of Christ

Some birds aren’t meant to be locked up, .Their feathers are just too bright. when they fly away , the part of you that knows it was a sin for them to be locked up rejoices .

I Rejoice in knowing that I am worthy. I am forgiven.

Hope is a good thing , maybe the best of things .The hope that lies within has given me a renewed look on life. This is the excitement only a free man can feel . It’s a start of a journey where the destination is uncertain , but Your hand upon my life is not . I hope that your face would shine upon me. I hope that the man You call me to be is the one I become . I hope her smile is as beautiful as I envision. I hope the Lakers are good again soon.  I hope.



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